Behind the scenes of a real bondage show

After going to a bondage show last week in Barcelona, I couldn’t help but to dig a little bit more into this mysterious, sometimes misunderstood, practice. So, tonight I went back and I asked a million questions!

Everything takes place in a little club managed by Andres y Mj. During my last visit, I was able to watch my friend Raquel get all tied up and suspended by NoShibari, a cool guy with a big beard who started learning about Japanese bondage about ten years ago. I saw Raquel was experiencing a very peaceful pleasure while being handled by NoShibari, and I got intrigued as to how and why.

Western and Eastern bondage

I learned that there are different kinds of bondage. The Japanese have a very special bond with rope, whereas western bondage is a bit more influenced by other materials such as metal and wood. There is also a rising kind of bondage, called Kinbaku, which is like a more sophisticated Japanese bondage. The transmission and teaching of Japanese bondage can be pretty difficult, especially because of translation reasons, and also a little because of a desire to keep a certain mystery from the Asian side.

It’s also pretty interesting to know how the Japanese relate to bondage. Although they don’t have this idea of sex as a sin, they do live by the rules of honor, and shame. So, bondage is actually considered porn there, even when it doesn’t include any kind of sex. Japanese models who do bondage feel shame in a much stronger manner, since expressing real feelings is not at easy there as it is here, and so the experience can be even stronger.

Sex or no sex

You see, bondage is not always about sex. The demonstration I saw was absolutely sexless. However, there is pleasure and a relationship between the two people. If there is a good feeling, a connexion is made and sometimes the models even go into some kind of transe. I was really fascinated about how NoShibari would create artistic shapes with the body and the rope, and how there was a silent communication. Words are not needed in this situation, and the goal is to listen to the other person with the feeling, the intuition, the pleasure of the moment. NoShibari then knows when to stop, or when to continue.

The untieing is as important as the rest of the experience. It’s not about showing off a certain position or knot, it’s about the whole experience and the state you’re in.

Pain and Brain

Of course, the rope is tight and it is painful, but I was taught that the body reacts to this kind of aggression and releases endorphins, which help the model go beyond physical pain. It’s a great exercise to regulate your mind and body, and avoid a state of anxiety that we could be subjected to. Breathing and stretching are key, that’s why NoShibari likes to tie the rope right below the chest. There are also certain points in the body that should be avoided, like a nerve point in the arm, or a tight rope around the groin.

Everybody’s different

The experience varies with everybody, and even if you do it with the same person twice, it can feel much different. NoShibari’s girlfriend was there and she explained to me how it can be difficult sometimes, to process the emotions you feel – or don’t feel – with your partner. What does it mean about our feelings? Our relationship? Our love?

What about the guys?

So far, all the models are girls. NoShibari explained that he’d already done it with a few guys, but they remained more rigid, less eager to give themselves to the control of another person. I would be pretty curious to watch a woman tie a guy up though…

So, what I got from that experience is that unlike the clichés we can hear about bondage, is that pain can be a means to a peaceful end. Much like the ying and yang and the balance of mind and body, the goal here is to reach trust, inner peace, and know ourselves better.

Please check out the awesome photographer Agustin Tentesión’s facebook page for more goodies, and the Rosas5 BDSM club if you ever come to Barcelona… Meanwhile, check out the rest of the photos below!