How doing porn changed my life [gifs]

Since I started writing welovegoodsex.com and ‘doing porn’, a lot of things have changed for me. First, it was Why are you focusing on sex? Are you personally frustrated? Then it became the funny conversation we’d have at work. But for me, it really changed my life.

I started exploring porn and sexual practices I never would have dreamed of experiencing myself, and began to make my fantasies into films.

People were surprised when I made more films after Alice Inside, as they probably thought it was simply a little creative tantrum, but I stuck with it.

At parties, bars… People love to talk about that stuff. First, they look at me thinking She doesn’t look like she’s in porn. Then, hearing the word feminist, they ask So, it’s just lesbians, right?

And I find myself repeating a speech that now comes naturally. Gender equality. Mutual pleasure. The beliefs that drive me turn into a conversation routine.

What people seem to take of it is the fantasy of being a porn director. They think I live on sex and orgies. Ok, I’ve been having some fun but most of the time, it’s just me jerking off in front of the computer.

Then I “performed” in a film for the first time and the reactions were mixed. First, fear. That I might go down the wrong path and ruin my life. Then comes the moment when I’m downgraded to the crazy girl who degrades herself, next to the nympho, but I’m always a good topic of conversation. Of course, my close friends have always supported me but there is often a hesitation.

This is exactly why it’s important to make better porn, because we can’t keep reducing sex work as the desperate, “last resort”, dangerous and degrading part of society. I thought I would get more crappy emails from horny guys, but I have to say the people who write to me are usually very supportive. I also get emails from acquaintances who suddenly have an interest in knowing me, or from guys who “love sex” – shocker, who claim to be very good at it and want to be porn actors.

I won’t talk much about family but I can say that being in front of the camera hasn’t helped make family reunions less awkward.

Somehow, I know this job could stigmatize me but I can’t even imagine giving it up, because it gives me great joy to make something that is mine and letting people see it and experience it in their own way.